Hello,
Six years ago, I wrote a post all about my wife and her illness. Little did I know at the time, that I wouldn't get back to my blog for so long. I could give you a long list of reasons as to why I didn't get back but all it boils down to is life getting in the way. Of course, the years have been filled with caring for Reet and I've had a few things going on with my own health as well. but, in truth, there really isn't any excuse for leaving things this long.
This post is dedicated to my one and only 'unknown' reader who left a comment after my last post. If you're still interested then this is for you and I can only admire your staying power.
Okay, so here's how the story goes....
Reet's illness obviously continued and as we reached her tenth year the chemo was still doing its job of keeping the cancer at bay. Reet was actually feeling a liitle better at the time and was hoping to get back to driving and socialising a little more. Despite the fact that she had limited time left we were actually feeling a little more upbeat. But then, sadly, she had a fall. By this time we had a hospital bed set up in the living room and although she was in it most of the time, she was able to get up and mooch about. Then, one day the phone rang and she got up to answer it and in the process she tripped over the cables that served the electric bed.
I was in the garden mowing the lawn and when I came in I found her sprawled across the floor, unable to get up. I quickly put her back to bed and made her comfortable. She wasn't too bad but and we thought she'd be okay in a day ot two but I guess her body couldn't cope anymore. The chemo had taken its toll after so many years and from the day of the fall she never really fully recovered.
So, on March 25th 2024 Reet died. She had been in hospital for a week or so and was then transferred to St Francis Hospice. She was there for a few days, maybe a week, and then she died. She was at peace when she died and I can only hope she's out of pain and in a much better place.
The funeral was okay, if you can say that about a funeral. Reet wasn't religious so we went for a Humanist service, although she did want the Lords Prayer to be read as she'd always liked it. It was well attended and I had it streamed live on the internet for those who couldn't be there in person. I had written a few words about Reet and I managed to read them out during the service. I have always been terrified of speaking in front of a crowd so I was nervous as all hell. My sister offered to read it for me, as did the funeral organiser, but they were my words and I felt they had to come from me. And, as it happens, once I'd started, I didn't have much trouble at all, thankfully. Afterwards there were drinks and refreshments at a local club. It was all very normal as funerals go, except, I wasn't there with Reet this time I was there for her.
Before Reet died we spoke about the funeral and whether she wanted anything in particular. Reet, practical, as ever, didn't have any preferences for it, although we spent some time thinking about what music to play. Now, I have to explain, Reet was only five feet tall give or take, and back in the days of CB radio she went by the handle of Bridget The Midget. So when we were discussing the music she said 'Well, I've got to have Bridget The Midget played, for sure.' So we felt that could be played as everyone was leaving the crematorium. The other music to be played wasn't so easy to choose and we spent a whole evening playing sad songs that might be suited for a funeral. We got there in the end but it was a strange evening. Bridget the Midget went down quite well and there were sad smiles all round as almost everybody there remembered her nickname.
There were a few other things going on at around the time of the funeral. For a start, the motability people took the car back once Reet had died so I was without transport. Enter my good friends Liz and Andy. Andy took me around to some car showrooms on the quick and I managed to get a new car in time for the funeral. Meanwhile, Liz, was helping arrange the wake and making sure I had everything in order.
As well as the car, there were other ongoing hospital appointments that needed attending or cancelling depending on importance. Arranging the funeral itself is a big task and although I did most of it myself, I was so grateful to have Liz and Andy to go to for help or advice or both. (So, when I say 'Good friends' I mean The Best. - More on them later.)
It was a strange time just after the funeral. Once everybody had gone and I was left on my own I didn't know quite how to feel. I wasn't falling apart, you understand, but I was in limbo, just muddling through in something of a daze. It's like I was on auto-pilot and things just got done. I didn't realise any of this at the time. I actually felt as though I was fine and getting on with my life in my normal manner. It's only now looking back that I realised I was drifting. My family all kept in touch, of course, so that was reassuring. They are all so far away though and can't be traipsing down here to keep an eye on me. Although I have no doubt every one of them would have been here had I asked. John is the closest, living in Hornchurch which is a short drive away. He called a few times and popped in but his life is quite hectic and full of babysitting his grandkids so I wouldn't expect him to run around after me all the time. But again, I am sure he would have, had the need arisen.
But the need didn't arise, thankfully and I coped fairly well in the end. And, of course, Liz and Andy were ever present. (I do have other friends, honest, you'll get to hear all about them sooner or later, no doubt.)
Okay, this is turning into a marathon entry so I'll sign off for now.
TTFN.
B. x
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