New Car, New T.V.

   When Reet was ill she was awarded the full amount of benefits because her situation was terminal. So we had a car supplied from the motability service. When she died though, they took it back quite quickly, which left me carless at a time when it would have come in very handy. So, I had to get a new car on the quick. I was still in a bit of a daze and I kinda rushed into things. Within a week or so I had bought a Dacia Stepway. Now, don’t get me wrong, the Stepway is a great car for a reasonable price but it’s a bit on the small size. Especially since for the previous four years we’d been driving around in a Citroen Berlingo which, trust me, is a lot bigger. Ive had the Stepway now, for three years and I’ve never really got to like it. In hindsight. I would have done better to hire a car until the funeral had been and gone and then taken my time choosing a new car that I might like. But, as I say, I wasn’t really thinking clearly at the time. 

  So why am I telling you this? Well, a week or so ago I got a call from my local Renault dealer (who, in case you don’t know, also make the Dacia range). They told me they were in a position to make me a great offer on a new car. Well, of course they were, they sell cars! Still, I figured it might be a good idea to take a look, seeing as I wasn’t happy with what I had. As it happened though, I did get a good deal and next weekend I will be taking delivery of a new Top of the range Dacia Duster. Yay! I was tempted to go for something electric but in all honesty, I don’t do enough driving to warrant the extra ten grand or so. I'm  hard pushed to do three thousand miles per year.

  What other news then? This is one of those news items that would be saved till last on a regular news program because it’s mildly amusing. Well, it’s not particularly funny to me, to be honest. No, last week I broke my television. How did you do that? I hear you ask. Well, I broke the screen when I tried to swat a fly that kept landing on it. I mean, I didn’t actually smack the swatter onto the screen. No, I knew the LED screen would be fragile, so I swiped downwards thinking I could stun the bugger and then finish it off when it was on the carpet. It turns out that those screens are even more fragile than I thought. And, what’s more, the damn fly escaped. Not for long though, it has to be said. I’m nothing if not determined. I waited awhile, lulling it into a false sense of security. Then when it was totally at ease and  nonchalantly strolling up the wall, I pounced! 

  So I’ve just bought a new telly. Had I known I’d be buying a new car just a week or so  later I might have forgone the swatting fiasco entirely. Oh well, we live and  we learn.

  Tata. 

  B. x    

Ukulele(s)

  I’ve never been very good with music. I mean, I do listen to it.  Listening to music has been a very big part of my life. But, I’m talking about, playing music, and understanding it. By the time I left school the only thing I knew about music was F-A-C-E,  Every Good Boy Deserves Favours and  the Doh, Rei, Me song. I often flirted with the idea of learning to play an instrument and I did, at one point, learn to play Amazing Grace (badly) on the harmonica but that was the extent of my ‘talent’ and I soon decided it was too difficult and gave up the harmonica. 

  But just a few short years ago, I heard Joe Brown speaking in an interview. He was talking about an album he had made that consisted of ukulele songs. During that interview he happened to mention that the ukulele is very easy to learn. That kind of struck a chord with me (pun intended), and I decided there and then to get me a ukulele.  I was dead keen and didn’t hang about. Very shortly I was the proud owner of my first ukulele. It cost me forty quid and came with a good quality hard case. I then started looking around for local ukulele tutors. I couldn’t find any. Not one! So I resorted to the internet and, Sheesh! There are loads of them. I would have preferred a local tutor but this would have to do.

  The first lesson I watched promised to teach me a few basic chords and a popular song ‘that everybody knows’. Hmm, it seems the ‘everybody’ he referred to didn’t include me. I’d never heard of a song called Riptide by someone called Vance Joy. Not only had I not heard of it or him but when  I heard it I didn’t particularly like the song. Oh well, there were other tutors…

  …Some weeks later I was making progress. I’d found several Youtube channels that were very good and I’d learned a few basic chords and even managed to play some tunes. But then I hit a block. I came across a chord that I couldn’t play. I physically could not get my fingers to reach the frets and strings that were needed to make the chord. I tried for a while but I  was never gonna be able to make it. I became quite despondent and decided that if I couldn’t make the chords then what was the point? So I gave it up. My ukulele went into the cupboard and there it stayed.

  Until, a while later I was visiting my sister and her husband (Penny & Graham). During the visit I happened to mention my short venture into the ukulele world along with my swift departure. Now, Graham plays guitar. Just as a hobby, but still, he’s pretty good. He plays for his own enjoyment and has done for years. So when I told him I had to give up playing the ukulele because I couldn’t make the chords, he said something that changed my outlook on the whole thing. He said ’If you’re only playing for yourself, it doesn’t matter if you miss a chord out here and there, who’s gonna know?’. 

  Wow! What an eye opener. And, of course, he was right. I could keep playing and when I hit a chord I  couldn’t achieve I’d just strum past it. That advice convinced me to dust off that ukulele and try again. And now, here we are nine years on and I’m still enjoying it. I’ve learned a lot in those years. About ukuleles, about music and about me. 

UKULELES: I’ve  learned that they can be cheap or ridiculously expensive, they come in many sizes and shapes and they each have their own distinctive sound. Oh, and they are very collectable.

MUSIC: I have progressed from Do rei me and Amazing Grace. I still can’t read music but I am now aware of such black arts as, keys; tabs; octaves; flats; sharps; arpeggios; vibratos …. And on and on. It’s a whole new world!

Me: I’ve learned that I’m addicted to this crazy little instrument they call the ukulele. I’ve learned that I can play loads of songs (even without the impossible chords). And, here’s the big one - I’ve learned that I can sing, kinda. Oh, and just recently, I’ve learned that I can write songs, also kinda.

  That then, is a little potted picture of my ukulele journey so far. I’ve skimmed the surface but it doesn’t tell the whole story, not by a long chalk… 

  … As I said, there were so many tutors to choose from and I flitted betwixt and between them, learning as I went. I soon learned a few basic chords, C F and G being the easiest to pick up. And here was my first surprise - with just those three chords I could play hundreds, if not thousands of songs! Some of the most popular songs consist of just those three chords. So even if I was a little slow and my fretting was a bit messy to start with I could at least play something. Getting that first song under my belt was a real confidence booster I can tell you. I can’t actually recall the first song I learned which surprises me as I can remember, vividly, how good I felt, knowing that I could play a whole song. 

   One of the tasks I had to learn in order to play a song, was how to read a tablature. A tab is simply the lyrics to a song but with the chords inserted so the player knows when to change chord. The thing is with tabs though, is that they don’t show you the tune, just the words and the chord changes. If you don’t know the tune you would find it hard to play just by reading a tab. You’d need sheet music for that. I’m lucky because although I can’t read sheet music I do know a vast selection of songs. All my family were and are music lovers going back to my mum  and dad and even my nan who lived with us back in the day. Also, I’m the youngest of five siblings each with our own tastes in music, so I have a very wide range of songs rattling around in my head from as far back as the fifties and through to today.

  While I was learning tabs and chords I also learned that there were  different sizes of ukulele out there. This led me to buy another,… and another  … and another… well you get the gist. I won’t go into the whys and wherefores but I will say that at present I have fifteen ukuleles to my name. That is a whole nother entry right there as it also includes amplifiers, mics, a mixing desk, and on, and on…

  My sister has also taken up the ukulele now, and so has my brother, Tony. So when we get together a few times a year we play together. We've leared a lot of songs and Penny's husband, Graham joins us too, sometimes on the guitar and sometimes on the ukulele. And in our most recent sessions Tony has begun playing bass. My sister and I have played in a couple of pubs and open mic sessions in Norfolk (Graham and Tony choosing to opt out), and we also play at our family bash that's held annually in the garden of my sister's house. When we play there, we call ourselves the Strumbums. The family bash will get its own entry at a later date, I'm sure. but I've babbled enough for now.

  You know, I still haven’t mastered that awkward chord that scuppered my playing all those years ago, in fact, I've found a few more challenging chords along the way. But I don’t mind now. There are loads of chords I can’t play, but there are also plenty that I can. I now have a catalogue of around five hundred songs and can play most of them to some degree or another. Some of them have tough chords and fast chord changes and I struggle with them but I leave them in my collection because I know I’m learning all the time and, who knows, I might just get those chords in the end. 

   All for now then.

  B. x

Another entry! zoiks! This could be habit forming.

  Yesterday was a good day. My visiting friends arrived around midday and we talked all afternoon and into the early evening. We have so much history between us, we could probably talk for a week without coming up for air.

  Today, I'm going to my sister and her husband Graham. Usually, I go there for a few days and we play our ukuleles together and practice some of the songs we've learned over the years. This visit is for a different reason although I'm taking my uke just in case. No,  the reason for this visit is simply for an overnight stay.  Pen's first husband, Gerry, is having an 80th birthday party. So Pen and Graham are putting me up for a day or two. So I'll get there today and spend tonight, Saturday and Sunday with them. The party is a short drive away and starts around three in the afternoon. How long it will go on for I don't know but I'm sure there will be plenty of live music as that is what Gerry is good at. He's been making music since forever and has had several bands in his time. Never professionally, although I reckon he could have done really well if he'd wanted to. But I think he's always been happy just playing gigs in his local area. They are in the Thetford area and there are two American air bases up that way so there has always been an audience for Gel's music. He can play pretty much any genre but he's always been more into rock and roll and country rock.

  Gerry met my sister back in the 60's and he would often bring his guitar round and play for us, especially at Christmas. I was in my early teens and I loved those times. Whenever he came to visit I'd always look to see if he had his guitar with him. He and Pen eventually married and stayed together for many years before they split. I'm sure it was a horrible time for both of them and I don't know the hows and whys of it all, it isn't my business. Happily though, they have remained friends. These days they are both remarried and whenever Pen and Graham host a family bash at their house, Gerry is the main provider of music (the family bashes will get an entry of their own at sometime or another).

  So, as I sit here writing at 7.30am. I really should be packing if I'm going to leave at 9am.

Tarra then. 

B. X

>

>

  Hmm, hello, I'm still here. Well actually, I need to explain...

  I began writing this entry on Friday morning, (18th September) and forgot post to it before I left to go to my sister. So now, as I write, it's 6am on Monday morning (21st) and I'm back home.

  My brother and his wife (Derry and Anne) and I went to the party on Saturday. It was a great party too, with loads of live music and dancing, as was expected. Penny and Gerry, had two kids when they were married - Shay and Linsi, and both of them are very talented musically. They both sing and play instruments. Shay plays guitar and bass and probably anything else with strings, and Linsi can play piano. Mostly though, she keeps to singing as she has a fantastic voice. Shay can sing too and they often sing and play together along with their dad. When he was with my sister, Gerry built his own recording studio and often recorded  CDs with his bands. They're a proper clever lot and no mistake, so the party couldn't do anything but go with a swing. 

  After the party went back to Penny and Graham's house for the night. We didn't get to play our ukuleles on this visit as Penny is recovering from an illness and was too tired. But we sat and chatted the time away and had a great visit. We left just after lunch on Sunday. It's always sad when we leave as we all get along so well and don't like it to end, but, leave we must. 

  I was home by 2pm and once I'd got the dog back from my neighbour, everything slipped back into its regular routine. It's funny how no matter how much you enjoy going to other places, whether it's visiting friends or relatives or a holiday in foreign climes, it's always nice to get back home.

  Today then, will start with walking the dog and, a little later, a trip to the allotment. Other than that I have no plans. So we shall have to wait and see.

  Toodlepip.

  B. x

Visitors...

Morning all,

  I'm in a blue mood today. And, by that, I don't mean I'm sad, I just mean I'm gonna use blue text today. No reason, I just am. 

  As I write, it's 8am. I've been up for about three hours. I've taken my pills, fed the dog and enjoyed a cup of tea. I've done Wordle and Don't wordle which has become something of a habit. I've also walked the mutt and we both got soaked in the process. It started raining a minute into the walk and stopped as we got back home. Can't complain too much though as the recent heatwave has been a little exhausting and the rain is much needed. I can walk in the rain, I did it for years as a postman. 

  Today, I'm having company. Two of my closest friends are coming for a visit (Ann and Dennis). We've known each other since school days. Ann and I even dated once or twice when we first met. I introduced them all those years ago and, several years later, I was honoured to be Dennis's best man at their wedding. Forward fifty years or more and I think they've forgiven me for the introduction. They've recently celebrated their fiftieth wedding anniversary, so they're doing well.

  We haven't been constant companions for all that time. They had kids and we kind of separated for a while but we never lost touch. Recent years have seen us draw closer once more. They knew Reet too, of course, and were devastated when she died. Dennis and I went to the same school but he's a year older than me so I don't believe that's where we met. I think we met at the Boys' Brigade. (Third Harold Hill Boys Brigade. Motto: Sure and Stedfast.) We've always been close, but in a blokey way. 

  Ann and I on the other hand are more like soulmates. We had a very similar outlook on life. Both optimistic and laughing a lot and we could talk about anything. Not that we did, but we knew, instinctively, that we could. And even during the years when we didn't knock around together the bond was always there. 

  Where Ann and I were outgoing and a little more adventurous, Reet and Dennis were very much reserved in their ways and both were pessimists. So much so that we dubbed them Doom and Gloom.

  We've always been in touch and seen each other at parties and such but since Reet became ill we've reconnected and if anything, become closer still. So, it will be nice to see them both. They have two great kids (Sarah and Adam) with families of their own and they're all lovely people. I am Godfather to Sarah and Reet was her Godmother. 

I ought to run the hoover round and tidy up a bit before they get here so I'd best skedaddle.

Be well. 

B. x

Two Years On...

  Well, look at that, you wait six years for an entry and then two come along almost at once!

  This is petty much a continuation of my last entry but that was becoming a bit long winded so I figured I'd split it...

  Okay, In the September after Reet's death, I had a replacement knee op. When I had my right knee replaced back in 2008 the recovery period was about eighteen months. It would have been quicker but I returned to work and figured I didn't need to do the physio anymore. After all, I thought, as a postman my knee was getting a workout every day, even though I'd moved to an indoor job by then. I was still on my feet all day but at least I wasn't humping bags of mail around with me so it was better. The thing is though, it wasn't necessarily the right exrcise and it took eighteen months before I felt the op had been worthwhile. This time round, being retired, I needed to keep up the physio. Which I did. And I have to say, the recovery period was amazingly quick. I'd say I was walking without sticks and in no pain within two months. Once I'd ditched the stick I never looked back. So much better than the last time.  

  So anyway, after Reet died I fumbled and stumbled around for a while and then, in September, I had my knee op and that gave me something else to occupy my mind. I didn't stop missing Reet, of course, but it kind of made me move on a little. Suddenly, life was kicking back in and I had to go with it. As well as my knee, I also had prostate problems and hospital appointments were cropping up here and there, but I'm so lucky that I have some good friends (Liz and Andy), who helped me (they still do), drivng me to the hospital,  accompanying me on apointments etc. Andy was a constant companion on those hospital visits. And Liz, kept me organised at home, making sure I wrote appointments on my calender. and made sure I wasn't slacking. It's so easy when you're on your own to be lax with the dusting and hoovering, changing bed sheets, doing the washing. All that kind of stuff. When I was working, Reet used to do all that stuff and I probably took it for granted. And although I took over a lot of it when Reet was ill, I was never really organised about it. 

Enter Liz:

  When Reet died I lost a lot of weight and many of my clothes didn't fit. So Liz - and Andy, of course, but mainly Liz, took me shopping for a new wardrobe. She'd get me to try stuff on and tell me 'No, too baggy, No, too tight, or yes, just right!' She made sure I bought things that didn't need ironing Good job too because I had no idea about such things, and I'm absolutely useless at ironing. She helped me go through Reet's clothes and sort them out for charity shops. (How many handbags does a woman need for gawd's sake!?) She makes official phone calls for me pretending she's my sister and changes my electricity tariff if needed or keeps an eye on my tesco clubcard points. All the stuff I would never think to do or even bother with.

  Just a few lines about Andy and Liz then. We've known each other for fifty years or more. Liz lived in the same street as me and we went to the same school, as did Reet. Later on I worked in the same factory as Liz and this is where she, and I, met Andy. When they eventually got married I was his best man. That was way back in the seventies. We knocked around together for a good while, drinking and holidaying together. Then, when they had kids we drifted apart a little. differemt priorities ruled our lives I guess. We didn't lose touch but just didn't go out together as much. 

  Jump ahead many years later and we somehow reconnected. I don't even know how it came about but the early frendship we carved out remained and we began socialising together again. We've not looked back since If anything we've become even closer than we were back then. They were with Reet and I through the rough times and I'm so grateful for their constant care and concern. 

  That's Liz and Andy in a nutshell. As I said, they are a large part of my life. Andy and I share an allotment together. We started it about six years ago and haven't looked back since. Liz still helps to keep me organised when I need it, which is more often than I'd care to admit, but it's nice to have someone you can trust when you need them.

  But back to the plot...

  In November 2023 We lost Honey, our golden labrador. It was a sad time and we both missed her immensely. I still do, of course. But whilst I was recovering from my knee op, I had decided that I might like to get another dog. I was fine on my own but I found the evenings really quiet. I'm not one for watching too much TV, I'd much sooner play my music. I have a very wide and, some say, weird taste in music and it's always been a huge part of my life. Even so, I don't feel the need to play music every night. Sometimes it's nice to sit and read or maybe write. But again, you have to be in the mood to do those things and that isn't always the case. my knee was improving every day so I thought it was maybe time to get another dog. And I did. Her name is Coco and she rules my life (even more than Liz).

  Here she is. Apparently, she's part beagle, part spaniel and part poodle. (Her mum was obviously popular!) She's a mongrel, in other words. She's three years old as I write and she's as cute as a button and feisty as hell.  She was two when I got her and for a while I thought she was way to energetic for me but, as my knee improved I began to get the measure of her and now we're bosom buddies and she's a real daddie's girl. Before she came to me she was living on a small holding with two other dogs and a few kids so she had the life of Reilly for her time there. She was trained in the basics thankfully, because I don't have the patience to take that on. She sits on command and walks to heel after a fashion and that's a good start. 

  So that's how my life is going at the moment. I walk the dog, I play my ukuele(s) and I share an allotment. I'm also finding time to cook, which is something I like to do. but more on at that at a later date.

More soon, if you can stand the excitement.

B x

Rita North 14/11/1955 - 25/3/2024

  Hello,

  Six years ago, I wrote a post all about my wife and her illness. Little did I know at the time, that I wouldn't get back to my blog for so long. I could give you a long list of reasons as to why I didn't get back but all it boils down to is life getting in the way. Of course, the years have been filled with caring for Reet and I've had a few things going on with my own health as well. but, in truth, there really isn't any excuse for leaving things this long.

  This post is dedicated to my one and only 'unknown' reader who left a comment after my last post. If you're still interested then this is for you and I can only admire your staying power.

  Okay, so here's how the story goes....

  Reet's illness obviously continued and as we reached her tenth year the chemo was still doing its job of keeping the cancer at bay. Reet was actually feeling a liitle better at the time and was hoping to get back to driving and socialising a little more. Despite the fact that she had limited time left we were actually feeling a little more upbeat. But then, sadly, she had a fall. By this time we had a hospital bed set up in the living room and although she was in it most of the time, she was able to get up and mooch about. Then, one day the phone rang and she got up to answer it and in the process she tripped over the cables that served the electric bed.

  I was in the garden mowing the lawn and when I came in I found her sprawled across the floor, unable to get up. I quickly put her back to bed and made her comfortable. She wasn't too bad but and we thought she'd be okay in a day ot two but I guess her body couldn't cope anymore. The chemo had taken its toll after so many years and from the day of the fall she never really fully recovered.

  So, on March 25th 2024 Reet died. She had been in hospital for a week or so and was then transferred to St Francis Hospice. She was there for a few days, maybe a week, and then she died. She was at peace when she died and I can only hope she's out of pain and in a much better place.

  The funeral was okay, if you can say that about a funeral. Reet wasn't religious so we went for a Humanist service, although she did want the Lords Prayer to be read as she'd always liked it. It was well attended and I had it streamed live on the internet for those who couldn't be there in person. I had written a few words about Reet and I managed to read them out during the service. I have always been terrified of speaking in front of a crowd so I was nervous as all hell. My sister offered to read it for me, as did the funeral organiser, but they were my words and I felt they had to come from me. And, as it happens, once I'd started, I didn't have much trouble at all, thankfully. Afterwards there were drinks and refreshments at a local club. It was all very normal as funerals go, except, I wasn't there with Reet this time I was there for her.

  Before Reet died we spoke about the funeral and whether she wanted anything in particular. Reet, practical, as ever, didn't have any preferences for it, although we spent some time thinking about what music to play. Now, I have to explain, Reet was only five feet tall give or take, and back in the days of CB radio she went by the handle of Bridget The Midget. So when we were discussing the music she said 'Well, I've got to have Bridget The Midget played, for sure.' So we felt that could be played as everyone was leaving the crematorium. The other music to be played wasn't so easy to choose and we spent a whole evening playing sad songs that might be suited for a funeral. We got there in the end but it was a strange evening. Bridget the Midget went down quite well and there were sad smiles all round as almost everybody there remembered her nickname.

  There were a few other things going on at around the time of the funeral. For a start, the motability people took the car back once Reet had died so I was without transport. Enter my good friends Liz and Andy. Andy took me around to some car showrooms on the quick and I managed to get a new car in time for the funeral. Meanwhile, Liz, was helping arrange the wake and making sure I had everything in order.

  As well as the car, there were other ongoing hospital appointments that needed attending or cancelling depending on importance. Arranging the funeral itself is a big task and although I did most of it myself, I was so grateful to have Liz and Andy to go to for help or advice or both. (So, when I say 'Good friends' I mean The Best. - More on them later.)

  It was a strange time just after the funeral. Once everybody had gone and I was left on my own I didn't know quite how to feel. I wasn't falling apart, you understand, but I was in limbo, just muddling through in something of a daze. It's like I was on auto-pilot and things just got done. I didn't realise any of this at the time. I actually felt as though I was fine and getting on with my life in my normal manner. It's only now looking back that I realised I was drifting. My family all kept in touch, of course, so that was reassuring. They are all so far away though and can't be traipsing down here to keep an eye on me. Although I have no doubt every one of them would have been here had I asked. John is the closest, living in Hornchurch which is a short drive away. He called a few times and popped in but his life is quite hectic and full of babysitting his grandkids so I wouldn't expect him to run around after me all the time. But again, I am sure he would have, had the need arisen.

  But the need didn't arise, thankfully and I coped fairly well in the end. And, of course, Liz and Andy were ever present. (I do have other friends, honest, you'll get to hear all about them sooner or later, no doubt.)

  Okay, this is turning into a marathon entry so I'll sign off for now.

  TTFN.

  B. x